Part VIII:
02 October 1982
I thought it was going to be cool to have another Mummy in school with me. I've made some friends but there's always some difference when they go home to dinner with their parents and I go home to a Cursed Cave under the Mountains. It's just hard to relate. Anyway, Randy hasn't really made things any easier. I want him to care so much but it escapes him. He's hung up on Traci Lorraine. Such a jerk-off.
Traci is this really weird girl, I always thought she looked like a rat. She spaces out in class all the time, I was her lab partner in like 10th Grade and I had to do all the work, it was bogus. I don't know what Randy sees in her. Ugh he sucks. Great body though.
So of course I was excited when Traci decided to break things off with him and go out with that Frankenstein kid. Randy and I are going to homecoming now as just friends but some 3,000 year old wine I stole from Nesperennub will change that! Maybe. That wasn't what happened though.
My stupid family ruined everything. And those stupid Frankensteins. Me and Randy didn't even get into the dance - all these green things jumped us in the parking lot. Fred and Traci showed up late, she was pulling at him to stop. I suppose we have something in common actually. There must have been five or six of them, we fended them off for a while until Kharis and Nesyamun showed up. Could they be more embarassing?! After Kharis was able to decapitate the one called Margaret and someone else they called Jerry, I think he was valuable. The rest of them stumbled off into the darkness but Randy gave chase. I ran behind him. A woman screamed.
I caught up and saw that Randy had this Frankenstein on the ground, her leg was impaled on a log, blood oozing everywhere. These things are so gross! She said her name was Justine and she wanted to make a deal.
"Stop this! I can give you everything!"
"Why?" Randy lifted his hand as sand gathered around him.
"I loved him, alright? I loved Henry Frankenstein. He...he abandoned me. For that bitch who he doesn't even love, she gives nothing to him. They all deserve to burn for his sins! Let me give them up, I can help! I can be like you!"
"No you can't." Randy used the sand to suffocate her, then smashed her face with the log. I stood there shocked. Kharis emerged from the woods.
"Who are you, boy?" he asked looking at the corpse.
"Randy Snarfle. I'm the most powerful Mummy there is."
Kharis laughed. He laughed! That old guy never laughs! "I like your spirit, boy. And your War Strategy. We'll find them. No prisoners, no deserters. Come, we have much to do." He took him on his wing and they blew off into the winds. Just like that. Not even a goodbye. I stood there like an idiot. Fred and Traci crept out of the darkness. I guess they had been scattered pretty good. Traci couldn't bear to look at Justine. Fred growled. Another Frankenstein quickly loped to us.
"Fred! Don't worry, it's Hans" He said as he grabbed Traci's boy. "Come, we must flee quickly!" Traci turned to leave as well. "No! No mortals!" Fred moaned and they walked off slowly together. That left me and that bitch Traci. I could understand Fred abandoning her. She was nothing. How could Randy and Kharis leave me?!
We walked back to the dance together. You know, for some punch or something. It sucked. I didn't really know anyone at this High School. As soon as we walked in though Traci ran up to this weird old guy wearing a Denver Broncos hat. I figured he was a teacher or something. He and Traci kept looking at me and murmuring. I don't like that. I walked straight up to them.
"What do you people want with me?!"
"Nefrina? Traci here said that's your name?" This dude asked me. "I'm sure you're familiar with me. I'm Otto Schnelppvort." Holy shit! This was the guy we've been after for like, years and years! "This is ending tonight. Can we count you on our side?"
"What side is that? Are you Frankenstein or Mummy?"
"We're on our own damn side," he said. "The side that isn't interested in murder or curses. The side that just wants these creepy bastards out of our town."
"Well, am I one of those bastards?"
"Not if you join us," Traci said. She smiled. I didn't know what this cunt was doing. But I didn't have a place with the Mummies for some reason. And I certainly wasn't about to join those gross Frankensteins.
"Fine," I said. "What do I have to do?"
03 October 1982
We all went to this old barn on the outskirts of town. I couldn't believe it but Imhotep was hanging out there! He was pretty pissed at Kharis, too.
"Our hour grows late. We are but a small force but one filled with righteousness. Otto, you are the key to all of this."
"Why?" Traci asked.
"The Curse of Kharis is unfulfilled," I told her. "The Blood of the Schnelppvort Family was never claimed after entering his tomb because Henry Frankenstein killed Otto's grandad instead of Kharis. Duh."
"It's good of you to join this coalition, Nefrina," Imhotep said. "You bring underrated wisdom here."
"Really? Cool." I said.
"Alright, now listen doc," Otto began. "I know you've got your own mumbo jumbo to whip on these guys but what about the rest of us? I haven't yet found a way to kill any one of these things, or at least so they stay dead."
"Mummies dislike being damp," Imhotep said, I shuddered. That's awful. That smell never gets out. He laid a half dozen Super Soakers on a table in front of him. "These will be your most powerful weapons. As for the Frankensteins - " Imhotep turned and carefully grabbed a torch on the wall. "Fire will destroy both of us...but the Frankensteins do not wield it. They seem to be born with a very unnatural fear of flame. Bring water to a Mummy and they will run. Bring fire to the Frankenstein and they will run."
"So what's the game plan then?" I asked.
"I have informed Kharis via locust that Schnelppvort is in my possession at this location. I have informed Henry the same thing with a corollary that I am a turncoat. Both have no choice especially after the Battle of The Homecoming Dance but to show up. At their current pace I'd give them another hour."
ONE HOUR LATER
We waited outside, me and Traci. I don't know why. Out of the woods the Frankensteins emerged first. They had guns and knives and other weapons. Boy there was a lot of them. Must have been almost twenty. The Mummies weren't far behind. Out of the Mountains they descended, the Frankensteins must have outnumbered us almost two to one! Outnumbered them I mean...
"Henry Frankenstein! As I don't live and breathe!" Kharis' voice echoed through the valley. "I get to kill you tonight after all!" I had never met Henry. I had spied on them for a while, he was always the one rambling on to the group so I figured he was the leader. He was a tall, gangly green fellow with this hair that just fell oily around his face. He just laughed at Kharis.
"You have no idea, do you?! No idea that your most trusted Lieutenant has abandoned you! Give up Schnelppvort to me!" He screamed. Imhotep emerged from the Barn with Otto in shackles.
"Not given up to you, you idiot. If I had given him up why would I contact you to come here?" Imhotep said.
"You told the Frankensteins?" Kharis had a fit of anger. "I see, as a gift to your King, Imhotep of Djoser, you lured them here as a final embarrassment before their destruction!"
"Nope!" Otto yelled as Imhotep magically freed his shackles. He pulled out his pistol and fired at Kharis between the eyes. Then all hell broke loose! Everybody was fighting everybody! Kharis was unfazed from the bullet but seething at Imhotep. He lunged at the priest before even Otto or Henry! They fought with their magic sand and bug powers for a bit.
Back on the lines Henry led the Frankenstein Charge. Nesyamun gave a signal though and every Mummy pulled out a torch and lit in fire. Henry countered by pulling out a Water Pistol, he doused Nesyamun's torch and smacked him in the face. The rest of the Frankensteins had water guns, too. Some put out the fires. Some didn't. I naturally ran to help my kind.
Schneider was this big crazy Frankenstein, I had seen him kill some mortals in town with his bare hands. He blasted Tjuyu with this huge water spray then ripped her head off! I grabbed my torch and threw it at him, engulfing him in flames. He screamed and ran around like a madman before he collapsed.
Traci was also squirting my kind but then she saved Queen Tera from a group of the monsters who were closing in on her after they doused her torch. Was she really neutral. I had paused too long, two of the Frankensteins were about to jump on me!
All I heard was "GOOO BRONCOOOS!!" Otto charged ahead and shot both of them in the head. "I probably should have spent that first shot on Henry, right hon?" He said to me. Nesyamun's arm landed in my lap.
Henry stood over the corpse. He had drenched it and torn it apart. Kharis and Imhotep froze. This was no ordinary Frankenstein. These monsters had never killed one of our Priests before.
"Well, that debt's settled," Henry chuckled. "You next, Kharis?" A wall of sand smashed into Henry with a fury like I've never seen before. It was all of Kharis' wrath. Imhotep began fighting Victor, who I knew was their second in command. I ran over to Nesperennub who had just killed this girl. I stopped. She was still speaking, I picked up most of her top half.
"You know how I died?" she asked. I stared in disbelief. "Suicide. I never wanted to come back." This was wrong. I'm used to some ghoulish stuff but this was wrong.
"How could you do that?!" I screamed at Nesperennub.
"If you hadn't turned with Imhotep with the mortals you'd understand. He said as he raised his staff at me." Someone then hit him with a baseball bat from the back. Messed his face up pretty good. He turned around, it was Traci. I soaked him with my Super Soaker and she finished him off.
"Where'd you get a bat?" I asked her.
"I don't know," she replied. Fair enough. I guess there was no going back now. Suddenly this Woman Frankenstein managed to get Prem off-balance and he fell on his own fire into the Barn. It blew up into a blaze instantly. Imhotep flew next to me.
"I shouldn't have kept that Barn so dry. And full of gasoline." Embers blew everywhere. The Frankensteins went nuts. Bubba Ho-Tep caught fire and stumbled around like a doofus. That guy was a doofus.
"Nice one, Elizabeth!" Victor shouted and he ran to hug her. Could these things love each other? I'm still kind of confused about that. Kharis stared at the fire, he looked as confused as I was. Henry used the opportunity to grab him and threw him into the Blazing Barn. It must have been thirty yards! The rubble and flame collapsed around him. Everybody stopped. We all stared at that fire for a moment. Our blood and dust stilled.
A huge flame leaped out the Barn Door. Kharis calmly walked out, he was completely on fire. He crept towards Henry.
"You think that can kill me, dear Henry?" Henry sweated and cowered as Kharis drew closer. "Oh, you do not fear this, do you, my boy?" Kharis got closer, Henry backed away. "I cannot be killed that way, I can NEVER BE KILLED!" He boomed. Henry grabbed something under his coat.
"YES YOU CAN!" Henry lunged at Kharis, we all stopped and stared, even Otto took a break from killing the Frankensteins. Henry plunged an Ankh attached to a Genuine Staff of Ra into Kharis' chest! I still don't know how he ever came across one!
"AS A PRIEST OF THE OLD RELIGION IN THE NAME OF RA I YOUR DEBT IS NOT FORGIVEN!" The earth began to quake. He had studied the Old Religion! "YOU HAVE FAILED YOUR CURSE TO PROTECT THE TOMB OF ANANKA! I SENTENCE YOU TO AN ETERNITY IN UDUN THE UNDERWORLD!" The Ankh glowed and Kharis screamed and vanished in a great light, then darkness. Henry fell to his knees, burning alive. Another Woman Frankenstein ran screaming to him, Otto stopped her.
"No Elsa," Otto told her. "He's payin' for his sins, too." Henry put his arms out, smiled and left this world. He may have found a peace that eluded Kharis. Everyone stood for a bit, we didn't know what to say. As the fire died down I went up and grabbed Henry's Ankh. Finally Traci broke the silence.
"Where's Fred?" We started looking around. Randy was missing too. Jeez, I hadn't even thought of him. We heard a scuffle down the road and lumbered towards the noise. Fred and Randy were fighting on the roof of this Church. Who knows how they got up there or away from the main scuffle. Hans and this other kid from school who Schneider had turned, Benjamin Franklinstein were trying to climb up the sides while these two other kids Hamilton and George's bodies lay on the ground. Randy had been busy over here. Maybe he was the Greatest Mummy.
"Fred! What are you doing up there!?" Traci screamed. I guess she really didn't care about Randy. Fred looked at her and Randy was able to trip him, he fell off the ledge and dangled by his hand.
"So Fred," Randy sneered, "Was it your brain or your heart that made you such an asshole?"
"Rrrrggahha..." Fred replied. So eloquent. Randy ripped his heart out, Fred lost his grip and fell to the ground. Traci screamed and ran to him. I had had it. This fucker was going down. I ran inside and climbed up to the roof. I could hear Randy's cocky voice booming as loud as Kharis outside.
"You know, Kharis told me that if a Mummy's will is strong enough, any Curse he makes will come true - well, how about this one! I drink the Blood of the Undead!" I burst out the door to the roof. I don't know why Hans and Benjamin couldn't figure this out. Randy was squeezing Fred's Heart Blood into his Mouth. The sky started to grow stormy. This was bad.
"I conquer Death! With this drink I steal the Power of the Gods! This world will bow before me! I'll get all the Homecoming Dates I will ever need! Hahaha!"
"Fuck that!" I screamed. I looked at Traci and Otto down there. Imhotep was right. We spoiled our chance at this world. It was their turn. "You broke my heart, Randy! And that Act of Doucheyness can never be forgiven! You may have the Power of the Gods, but I made you, and I can unmake you!" I stabbed Henry's Ankh into my own chest. "I hold my own debt unforgiven. May I sleep in Udun."
I closed my eyes for the last time in Lowcountry.
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