On the matter of Cookie Sirico

My castration date is 7/4/2006... Remove me from the bondage of penis... my son... my son Kandwell he's not an NFL running back... what a failure... he was the 7th born... and the 7th worst.... I wanted to live vicariously through him topping emmitt smith's yardage record... he has wronged me... and you know what he wants to go into... architecture! architecture! Why don't you just drive a knife through my heart you ungrateful bastard... all the times I hit you until you did what I wanted... what's best for you... well I HAVE NO SON... except for the other 6... (Emmit Smith, Barry Sanders, Walter Payton, Curtis Martin, Marshall Faulk, and Jerome Bettis) They're passable sons.... Lucifer put me on a strict diet of lard and cigarette butts... Kandwell will go on it too until I can beat some vicarious pleasure into him.... failure... what a victim I am