The halls at the Luv a Duv love factory were as dirty as a pirate's coffee machine, and the floors as disgusting as a Chinese Christmas tree. Boy howdy, did it suck to be a janitor there, and boy howdy did it ever suck to be Sam. Wait, no, it wasn't that bad being Sam. At least that's how he thought of it; even the janitors at Luv a Duv Co. were paid well, and there weren't many other jobs out there that were willing to pay for Midnight Psychiatry. Even the work was pretty easy; a few ounces of concentrated hate dissolved even the grimiest of messes, and the Kiss Removal scraper took care of all the love remnants that made their way around the factory.
It was boring though, and Sam was getting sick of being so pungent and shiftless. Working there was making his soul like the ocean; vast and unsophisticated. Sam grabbed his scraper and started gouging at the floor. The faint smell of Cookie Crisp meant that the love was coming off. He held his breath though; the stuff always gave him a tummyache.
At midnight, he took his break. Usually, he'd head downtown to the Neutralville Loser District. He liked to go to Midnight Psychiatry during his food eating break, but the Psychologist was getting too abrasive and Sam was getting fat from all the Taco Bell. Instead, he took a taxi to the nearest cornfield. Seating himself on the broad shoulders of a grim-faced scarecrow, he looked up at the sky. "Somewhere out there", he mumbled to himself, "somewhere is the lassy of my dreams."
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